What chaps my hide . . .

are 'natural skincare' companies who claim something is natural when clearly it is not!

For instance, they claim to distill gardenia essential oil via their very own steam distillation process. Amazing! They've somehow achieved a feat that thousands of contemporary alchemists are unable to accomplish. Truly amazing.

And they will sell this delicate, 'natural & organic' essence for a mere $15 per four ounces. For added beauty and rarity, they toss in just a hint of real tulip essential oil, which they also distill on site. Hmmphrf.

When I received my package, I was stunned to learn their measuring techniques are as flawed as their claims of all natural. What was touted as 'Two - 2 ounce' bottles were, in reality, two - 1/3 ounce roll-on bottles. Okay, perhaps I should give credit where credit is due -- the perfume oil with the bottle weighs 1 and 3/4 ounces -- maybe that's what they meant, huh?

I don't get it. There are literally millions of consumers in the world who don't give a flaming fart in outer space whether a product is good for them or not! So why lie? Your stuff smells good, man, but it ain't natural!

Puh-lease!