Saturday

Today will be a lazy day. Well, yes, I will be getting the dishes done, at least. Maybe straightening up the living room a bit. But other than that, I'm doing nothin'. Except maybe playing with aromatics. Today is a thinking day ~ collecting the thoughts and ideas tumbling around in my head about that writing gig I have that's due -- um -- two Mondays ago? I shot off like a rocket at the beginning of the project, writing page after page after page of detailed notes from books and blogs and internet researching I'd done. Three days of that with the idea that when I was done I'd actually be able to sort it all out in a cohesive way. It's turned out to be a bit like unraveling tangled extension cords, and lots of "oh, yeah!" moments when I realize I didn't put that in there or flesh out this other bit over here. I have to remind myself what my writing teacher would always say, and in a way it works for perfumery too, "Write down the bones first, then put on the flesh."


Since last October, I've been in this super stressed out place. It felt like my family was falling apart, and the only thing holding it all together was me, the glue, the unwilling matriarch. And the whole time this chaos and pain was swirling around, I had perfume to focus on and pull me through. I'm not one of those people who becomes frozen and incapable of moving during times of crisis ~ I'm a jumper, a runner, a grap-the-kukri-and-start-hacking-at-the-problem type ~ work and busy-ness rule the day. And backing down is completely out of the question. Some call it stubborn. I just call it me. And it's exhausting. I need a vacation. I'm thinking Provence with Jim and Robbie next year ~ a week in France with Aroma Tours, tasting and smelling and chilling. My daughter may be going to Italy with her drama class at around the same time. At first she asked if I'd go with her as a chaperon and I heartily agreed, then she threw in, "Well, one of my friends has to go because I'm not spending the entire time in wonderful Italy with my MOM," and it kind of hurt my feelings. Her MOM has been standing by her side since her mess began about a year ago, encouraging her, holding her when she cried, fighting for her . . . so anyway, I guess it's a teenage thing, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it. After that little statement, though, I decided it was really and truly time for me. I don't have a problem with her going to Italy with her friends -- more power to her! I wish I'd had an opportunity like that when I was her age. But I want France.

Things are leveling out now -- in fact, they're almost great. Family's back on track, there are no big crises to deal with (at the moment, knock on wood), business is going well, and I'm going to France in July. Life's peachy. I mean, it could always improve, but I've seen the darker side and will accept any little bit of light I can get.

There are two projects I'm shaking around ~ a full-on floral parfum in the tradition of Joy, and a black perfume, eau de toilette, whatever. Those are my fall projects. I even wrote them down, y'know, like on a list. Speaking of my list, I printed it and posted it on the refrigerator where I'd see it all the time, to remind me that I have work to do that isn't 100% family oriented, which means everyone else sees it too, and I'd forgotten that I'd entitled my list, "List of Perfumes on Paper & Things to do, You Stupid B*tch Who Doesn't Make Lists!"