Hope & Taxes

It has been a rough -- really rough -- week. Taxes nearly killed me this time around, the absolute worst it's been ever, and I think next year, despite the cost, I'm paying someone else to do them. I didn't sleep most nights and when I did I dreamed of moving to the PNW and exalting in the never-ending rain and the wild, crashing sea. The week of no sleep did bear some creative fruit, though. Finished off a batch of Edfu Kyphi which I rolled and cut and dredged in olive leaf powder. The only thing left to do is allow it to stew awhile, dry up a bit, and come closer to its 'self'. I also was able to put the finishing touches on the Medusa-themed incense and got it ready to go as well. Now I'm waiting for a couple of perfumes to mature and then it will be time to prep them for sale too. One of the two final perfumes left to mature is really nice, and I'm just working on finding appropriate bottles for it, the other is very, very slowly pulling itself together after several modifications, and I am finally happy with the results. I think being under extreme stress, and not wanting to fall victim to even more extreme depression, I had to find an outlet that was proactive, not passive. No naval-gazing or staring mindlessly at the tv, or attempting to read a book -- which I did try and it resulted in reading the same sentences over and over again because my brain was just not processing the words. I did what I'm destined to do -- work with botanicals, aromatics, the dust of sandalwood and the sticky resins, the magic of wrapping herbs into wands, rolling snakes of incense, dropping Siberian rhododendron and muskroot absolute into a perfume to give it just the right amount of raspberry musk (that was pretty specific, wasn't it? Take it and run!) Being under extreme stress brings out hope that manifests as art. This is no passive hope, no 'thoughts and prayers' hope, but hope with teeth and claws, blood and soil under her nails, scratching and ripping to find her way. This hope is a warrior.

I do not, however, wish to go through tax season like this again. I appreciate the desperation for an outlet that leads to a lot of really good stuff getting done, but I don't appreciate the exhaustion that, if I'm being 100% honest, may have led to a hallucination or two.