Melancholia Sets In

I was wondering when this was going to happen. The dreaded drop in enthusiasm when the realization that this ends. This current situation, the next situation, and all of it, eventually. Oh, sometimes I wish I could take my brain out of my head and give it a good slap across the cerebrum! The drop started as I was digging into and tossing things in the HP closet. Well, if I'm going to be honest, the drop started gradually a day or so ago and has been gaining speed ever since, but the closet -- that tipped me over. I'm pouring out expired hydrosols and finding things I had forgotten about. And then that lead to thoughts of where the hell am I going to put all this stuff -- or rather, live without this stuff -- for the next six months? I do not live a Zen life at all. I'm very connected to things, I guess, even though I'd like to think I can just walk away. My heart hurts a little doing this, and I'm not giving it up at all! I'm just tucking them away for a while. Aaaaahhhhh!

I poured a cup or so of expired frankincense hydrosol from a couple of years back into my cleaning spray bottle. Even expired, the sauce was crystalline and smelled as sweet as when I made it. The rest of the older hydrosols didn't fare so well. One in particular, a grapefruit hydro, smelled like rotten oranges. Not good at all. I also found a near-full bottle of cocoa resinoid that I cannot for the life of me get out of the bottle! Who puts resinoids in narrow necked bottles anyway? They dry out over time and lose their elasticity and end up like putty. I may use the resinoid in incense someday, but I'm going to have to find a very long, skinny spoon to dig it out.

Getting all this stuff sorted out is difficult for me. I feel like I just did this. Twice. The idea is that this next move is the last. One would hope.