Friday, April 28, 2006


There's quite a lot of chatter going on in cyberspace about the rebirth of the formerly defunct Artisan Natural Perfumery Guild, both positive and negative.

Take it with a grain of salt. As someone who wasn't actually there when it laid down its head for its supposed final slumber, I can't say which side of the controversy I am on.

There's a lot to be said for guilds in general. They help their members get in touch with potential markets, help them find rare materials, and protects their interests when something like a lawsuit spins 'round the corner. On the other hand, guilds can be a place where the board members rake in guild membership fees and offer little, if any, support to its members.

Watch for the guild to formally open its doors, check it out, if you're interested, and make up your own mind. Remember, though, not everything is as it seems. I'm certain that you will find listings of some of the most proficient natural perfumers in the world on the new incarnation of the Artisan Natural Perfumery Guild's website. The sad thing is, not all of the very best of the best will
be passed through the rigorous committee review required for admittance. Politics are what they are. Plain and simple.

So dive in! Get your hands dirty or wet or stinky -- whatever.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

What chaps my hide . . .

are 'natural skincare' companies who claim something is natural when clearly it is not!

For instance, they claim to distill gardenia essential oil via their very own steam distillation process. Amazing! They've somehow achieved a feat that thousands of contemporary alchemists are unable to accomplish. Truly amazing.

And they will sell this delicate, 'natural & organic' essence for a mere $15 per four ounces. For added beauty and rarity, they toss in just a hint of real tulip essential oil, which they also distill on site. Hmmphrf.

When I received my package, I was stunned to learn their measuring techniques are as flawed as their claims of all natural. What was touted as 'Two - 2 ounce' bottles were, in reality, two - 1/3 ounce roll-on bottles. Okay, perhaps I should give credit where credit is due -- the perfume oil with the bottle weighs 1 and 3/4 ounces -- maybe that's what they meant, huh?

I don't get it. There are literally millions of consumers in the world who don't give a flaming fart in outer space whether a product is good for them or not! So why lie? Your stuff smells good, man, but it ain't natural!


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Oh, Luca

. . . you get a sloppy, wet, boronia scented kiss for this one!

La longue vie au parfum normal!


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