Noise

Put a finger down if you bought something you thought you really wanted, and once you had it, you realized it's stupid and useless and a waste of money. Put a finger down if you bragged about it before trying it out and realized, ugh, this was dumb. Put a finger down if you regret the purchase and can't decide what to do about it because you don't like throwing things away but also have no use for them. Put a finger down if you just feel tricked by the Universe.

Yeah, those wishes from a few days back turned out to be curses. The printer won't connect to my computer because my computer refuses to recognize the installer and I can't get any tech support at all to even hint at what the fix might be, and the water pik thing shoots water out so fast and hard, it ends up in my nose, my eyes, and all over the bathroom counter and mirror. The first time I used it, I jerked back so hard, I shot myself in the ear! 

I woke up far too early this morning with a few extra minutes to burn and instead of working decided to lament my lameness spectacularly. I've got the absolute worst case of imposter syndrome you can imagine today. I have literally spent the last year -- a year! -- effing around on Tik Tok and Instagram instead of working on me and projects and really falling into research. It's not like I don't have things to do -- real things, valuable things, things that move me forward rather than sitting stagnant, but instead I self-soothe with nonsense. It seems that the past couple of years have been louder around here, and my escape is to fall into social media to block all of the noise. It used to be books, but books don't work unless I can find a peaceful space to read. There has been construction directly behind my house for two years. Two. Whole. Years. The noise is grating, starting at 6:30 am and going on until whenever the hell they want. And then in the midst of all that, the neighbors to the left of us decided to turn their house into an Air BNB, and have been cutting holes in the walls on the side of the house to add doors, and pouring concrete, then tearing it out and pouring it again, and ripping out all of the landscaping. The weirdest part about that is the people they send to do the work. They aren't contractors, but dudes who literally carry tools around in the trunk of their beater cars. They look rough and don't seem to do a good job, and then a day or two after they finish, a new group of rough looking dudes come in and tear out what the first group did and do it all over again. It's a bit of a bad construction circus. And then the neighbors to the right of us decided, after seven years living here, to put in landscaping in their backyard, so there are workers there two or three times a week running loud equipment. It's on all sides, the left and right sporadically, but the back nearly constant. Oh, and the back construction sometimes goes on during weekends too. It's all got my nerves shattered at this point. 

To remedy the situation, I've started 'hanging out' in the garage/studio most of the day, working to set things to rights, and playing an online game when it all gets too heavy. Setting a timer to quit playing and get back to work has helped with the progress in the shop. There is a problem with the antique hutch that I've dragged around for years to use in the shop -- it's literally coming apart and needs to be disassembled and the drawer section tossed out. The shelving section is salvagable, so brackets will be attached and it will get space on a wall somewhere. And within all of this, I managed to formulate two more scents for soap (still haven't begun work on the Mother's Day oil), one is flush with rose-like materials and a smidge of rose floral wax, and the other is amber. Both smell amazing. 

Anyway, I've taken up far too much of your time today. Bye.

Old school Scented Djinn