It has taken my whole life but I have finally figured out (I think ~ ha!) what happiness is. I am partner-less. I work a part-time job. I don't have a car. I have debts I need to get in order. I have few assets and little money. I've severely neglected my perfumery. A few of my grown children are harboring grudges against me. But still I am happy. I won't say blissful, but content. Truly. It could be the result of a lot of different factors in my life at present -- healthier eating habits, moderate amounts of exercise, a sense of self-sufficiency, a renewed interest in creativity, a break from toxic relationships, and the realization that I have some of the most amazing friends a person could ever want. So what is happiness? Simplification. Whittling off the layers of gunk that "society" claims we need. Releasing oneself, no matter how painful, from relationships that are damaging to the psyche. Allowing oneself to let go the unnecessary responsibilities thrust upon us by others. It's a start.
Last night was Jeanne Rose's 75th birthday party hosted by Yosh Han in San Francisco. I wanted to go but obligations here at home kept me here at home. Quite a few of my friends attended the soiree and I look forward to hearing their accounts of the event as the initial reports sound smashing.
I've been running trials on the perfume submission for the 2012 Primordial Scent Event -- my chosen element is water. I'm feeling the need to step up my game, so I've chosen some scent elements that may seem unusual to the theme. Like tolu. I have a bottle of vintage tolu resin diluted to about 50% in organic grain alcohol. Something about it 'feels' watery to me -- like the rain dampened leaves on the edge of a slow moving river, a beautiful marriage of decaying vegetation and warm, murky water. Tolu has that cinnamon-like spice to it, so it will be somewhat difficult to tease out from it what I want. I feel the need to incorporate a touch of some of the other elements into the theme since in reality water is cradled by the earth and blanketed by the air. We shall see. The trials continue on.
I moved my bed into the studio. It was an idea that rolled around in my head for weeks before I actually did it. I just felt the need to be closer to my art, I guess. I cannot accurately express the joy I feel upon waking to all the glittering bottles and the sheer potential in this room every morning. Since moving into the studio, I've slept better than I have in months. I get up, make a pot of tea, sit down at the bench and begin sniffing the materials I laid out the night before. It's a re-education in olfaction.