Friday, October 18, 2013

I'm Here -- In My New Life.

I made it. Well, it wasn't as if it was a long journey, just a hop over the the Diablo Range from the central valley to the central coast, and voila. Here I am. Moving from a town with a population well over half a million to a town with a population of well under 30,000 is mind-boggling. The odd thing is, as I've stated in previous posts here, that where I am now is a destination, so tourists and visitors occupy the landscape in abundance, 12 months of the year, whereas where I was had absolutely zero tourists and visitors, so even with the population differential, I'm still more likely to be successful business-wise here than I had been there. Got that? My business no longer has to rely solely on internet shops and local word of mouth, I can actually get out there and drum up some biz!

But right now I mope. I miss my space. I miss my Bug. I miss the -- well, that's about all I miss so far. I feel out of sorts. Anxious still, and wondering what the hell to do next. I have to squeeze my life into the spaces left open here in this new life and I don't know where to begin.

The first thing I did when I got here was locate a bookstore and purchased 'A Dance With Dragons', the hardcover (and I NEVER purchase the hardcover) because the soft back isn't released until the end of October and I was desperate to drown myself in its pages, to forget about all the sh*t that needs unpacking, the potential haranguing I may get from my former landlord (the lady on the broom) not because I've done something untoward, but because it seems her nature to harangue, and basically to figure out once again where I fit. I hate this feeling. Universe, grant me the power to let go of worries that I cannot affect. Now, say it again.

Went to the San Luis Obispo farmer's market and found all sorts of delicious local fare, from Buddha's hand citron to Fuyu persimmons to short stubby organic carrots to yellow beets -- all lovely. The weekly farmer's market in SLO is comparable to one of the once-a-year events held in Fresno, like Big Hat Days or the Peddler's Fair. Blocks of produce, art, handmade goodies, food, music -- and crowds. Big, big crowds. I think that's what I missed living in Fresno, the sense of community. Fresno is a divided city, the poor versus the rich, the diverse versus the uniform, very little middle ground there. Perhaps I judge my hometown too harshly, plus I'm too new here to really know what types of people live here.

During the move, I gave up my aromatic's mini-fridge. Mostly because I didn't think the poor thing could handle another trip. The little motor inside made a gawdawful sound when it was turned on, like someone using a hammer on it, before it got up to speed and smoothed out into silence. I'm going to miss Mini. Not only did she protect the most delicate of aromatics from the ravages of the central valley heat, she also kept my gin nice and cool.

I'd best stop putting off the inevitable. Time to unpack. Ugh.


  1. Wishing you all good things in your new life, Justine! From what you used to write, it has to be better...
    I remember each time I moved feeling so out of sorts, because I had no 'home'. The old home had gone, and the new place wasn't home yet. You are homeless, no wonder you feel strange. So get into that unpacking and start making your home. I will look forward to the day when you start writing from home again. x

    1. Thanks Maggie. I'm working on it, little by little. I can't wait to get into the groove here and start whipping up some skin stuff again. And cooking. And all those other things I love doing.

  2. Anonymous7:06 PM

    J, glad to hear you arrived at your new place. Follow your intuition. I think this was what you needed to do. Wishing you the best as always.




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