Thursday, September 04, 2014

Makin' Soap

So. I was excited last night, getting prepared to make a coupl'a big batches of soap. It was late, kind of quiet, so I scrubbed down the work station (kitchen counter), re-washed the tools (pot and blender and spoons), actually decided to use a mask and gloves this time. Then once the work station was in place, I went to the cupboard to pull out the oils and whatnot, and that's when I realized that I'd stocked up on everything except the lye. I had enough sodium hydroxide to make three bars of soap. Meh. Today I'm heading out to the post office to ship a few orders, and I will just so happen to pass the hardware store that sells the lye I like. But I hate when that happens! It's like the Universe is saying, "Naw. Wait a while. You haven't been feeling well, you've been running yourself ragged. You need a rest." But I'm like, "Nooooo! It's almost autumn! I need to make something! I'm programmed to do this. Right. Now!" And the Universe says, "I'm thinkin' no." And I'm like, "Stupid Universe."  I ended up making a peach cobbler with organic peaches I picked at my friend Shannon's ranch in Sanger. 

Green Clay & Clary Sage Soap circa 2010

Life's too short to be unhappy. And by that, I don't mean that a person should be ecstatic all the time and nothing bad ever happens in their life. To be happy is to be content, fulfilled. I think most people would agree that if they were those things, they could go to their grave with satisfaction in their hearts. Satisfaction. That's an interesting word. To be sated. To have your fill. This is how I feel when I work with aromatics, whether it's working through a perfume formulation, a soap blend, or something to do with creating perfumed food, or writing. I feel sated. Nothing enters the bubble I cast around me when I'm doing these things. Angst has no place, nor do tears or hatred or pain. Although there have been times when someone who isn't capable of controlling themselves, or didn't want to, blasted their hate-horn in my face while I was trying to work. I will get a little jolt of panic, then I settle myself down and wait for my hands to stop shaking -- because what I'd really like to do to people who do this is either punch them hard in the nose -- multiple times, or run as fast and as far as I can from them -- before I continue the work, re-creating the bubble which they've just temporarily popped. What I actually do is self-soothe. Mostly because I'm not a gorilla working on pure instinct, which is how I mentally picture them as they're ranting and raving over a bug in their french fries. It's a mess, man. It's what happens to us empaths who can feel your emotions before you even walk into the room. It's like a built-in (fill in the emotion) barometer right in my chest. As an added bonus, I get to live with a couple of these people and I'm finding my response to their fits is becoming less harmful. It's difficult to feel any serious concern when a person throws the same exact ridiculous tantrum when spending too much at the auto shop to fix the car as they do when they spill a soda. The level of importance of ALL the issues they grapple with drops -- and drops, and drops, and drops with each progressive fit. Or perhaps my bubble is becoming stronger. The older I get, the more I learn that things and people -- hell, everything -- cannot be controlled, and worry is a word and emotion best left to itself because to engage in it is to do nothing but hurt oneself. Suicide by stress. I'm not into it.

Djinn Mini circa 2010


The two perfume oils I'm working on -- Yasmina and Kyphi -- are nearing their maturity. Nearing, but not quite there. The Kyphi may need a bit more work, and the Yasmina is just settling in. I may once again begin working on the Chon perfume I started a few months back. I kind of sat that one on the back burner a while as I waited for the dilutions created for it to settle. After deciding to sell of those perfumery items I'm not using or have too much of, the 'studio' has been an even bigger mess than it was before. I had temporarily buried the Chon dilutions, so, out of sight, out of mind. I really need a better system. Ha!


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