. . . I once paid $300 for a tampon.
Because of my kids, my ex was able to use the word "frayed" in a creative way:
School "Mr. ******, your son's pants are frayed and frayed pants are out of dress code."
The Ex. "Well, what're his pants "frayed" of? Gettin' hemmed?"
Because of my kids, I learned that weed is NOT dope, but dope is sh*t, and sh*t is whack.
Because of my kids, the entire neighborhood thinks I'm running a meth lab in my perfume studio.